While the stigma against openly discussing mental illness has slowly eroded among secular circles, the church, unfortunately has been slow to catch up.
There are several misconceptions regarding mental illness. While the stigma against openly discussing mental illness has slowly eroded among secular circles, the church, unfortunately has been slow to catch up. Secular circles acknowledge that mental illness can be complex. The roots of mental illness can vary from early childhood trauma, pharmaceutical side effects, chronic illness, chronic pain, severe allergies, chronic exposure to air pollution, and genetics.
It is important to note that mental illness is just that: it is an illness. And what do you do when you feel ill? What do you do when you feel sick? If you have symptoms of coughing, sneezing, fever, fatigue, you are likely to stay home from church and rest. When you have a migraine so bad you can’t think, concentrate, or move your head without feeling like you’re going to vomit or pass out, you are likely to stay home. When you are suffering so much chronic pain, you can’t concentrate on the pastor’s sermon, you stay home. Why do we see physical illness as a good enough reason to stay home from church and rest our frail bodies, but when it comes to mental illness, we claim regular church attendance is the cure to our disease? But that is exactly what some Christians are saying.
The article I just read claims a healthy, loving marriage and regular church attendance are all that is needed. In fact, there are articles everywhere now jumping on this claim. Languishing churches fretting over low attendance and declining financial savings are promoting church attendance as a cure-all of all society’s ills, from failing marriages, to preventing ‘deaths of despair’.
I have been a Christian my entire life. I have always made it a priority to attend church regularly. I also have a very loving husband. None of these things however prevented me from having a traumatic emotional breakdown in the fall of 2019.
At the time, I was an active member of prison ministry and our church’s praise team. I’d force myself to church out of sheer will power. I went out of my way to put on a brave face and pretend I wasn’t going out of my mind with anxiety. I’d make myself push through each meeting with other prison ministry volunteers, plus lead my local congregation in worship each Sunday. And while I’d feel slightly more optimistic than if I had stayed home, the feeling was short-lived.
In the end, I had to face facts. I was “sick”. I was severely “sick” in fact. I was so ill, I was barely functioning. I was severely sleep deprived. I suffered panic attacks day and night. I had no sleep at all. My blood pressure was off the charts. My muscles had stiffened so badly, I could barely move. Meanwhile, my emotions raged on like a hurricane, like I was reliving a horror film, over and over again. It was a movie I couldn’t stop. A runaway train that had gotten out of control. And there was absolutely nothing I could do to stop it.
I got on my knees and prayed one morning, confessing to God my helplessness. I confessed, too, my pride that had been preventing me from admitting, even to myself, just how debilitating my condition had become. I had to face facts. I had to face the truth. My mind was sick, and I needed help.
Before that moment, I had tried to do it all on my own strength. I had read all the right Scriptures. I prayed all the right prayers. I had devoured every book I could get my hands on that might help me face my anxieties and fears. Some books were secular, some not. It didn’t matter. None helped.
My husband did his best. We spent many long nights talking. We talked about what could have sparked my downward spiral and what we could do to get me back on my feet again. But nothing he said really helped. I still felt… stuck. And I couldn’t seem to get unstuck.
The stigma against mental illness is greater amongst Christians than even the secular world. That is, as Christians, we are often taught that anxiety is a sign of weakness.
I had the misconception that so many Christians also have regarding mental illness, especially anxiety. The stigma against mental illness is greater amongst Christians than even the secular world. That is, as Christians, we are often taught that anxiety is a sign of weakness. It’s viewed as a lack of faith. We are taught we just need more Scripture, more faith, more prayer, better church attendance, more church fellowship, more godly marriages, more humble service, and all our anxious thoughts and deep wells of depressions will all magically disappear.
Why do Christians today treat the mentally ill as if their condition was nothing more than a deserved consequence for their own lack of godly living, steadfast prayer, or poor church attendance?
In Jesus’ day, the Jews believed those who were born with physical disability were cursed because of their sin. Why is it then that some Christians today treat the mentally ill as if their condition was nothing more than a deserved consequence for their own lack of godly living, steadfast prayer, or poor church attendance? Do we treat the physically infirm this way? Did not Jesus treat all manner of illnesses with compassion, regardless of the cause? Did he not show mercy on both the physically disabled, as well as others, even the demon possessed?
There should be no shame in skipping church if you are feeling emotionally overwhelmed. God knows your needs!
When I look back on everything that happened to me in 2019, I realize I should not have been so hard on myself for skipping church. When your anxiety’s already off the charts, you already feel overly sensitive to just about everything going on around you. Any little thing has the potential of making you feel overstimulated or even setting you emotionally off a cliff. There’s nothing wrong with taking a break, of admitting your human frailty before God. “God, I want to go to church today. I wish I could. But I’m not feeling well. You know me even better than I know myself. You know how emotionally fragile I feel right now. How deep a rut of anxiety and depression I feel I am in right now, and how much I seek quiet and solitude. Let me be silent and still before you now, today.”
I had one friend of mine many years ago who stopped going to church altogether. When we first met, she was always smiling. But then one day this remarkable, amazingly confident woman was suddenly afflicted with panic attacks, insomnia, phobias, self-doubt, and fear. She no longer could fake a brave smile anymore. She looked somber and forlorn. She withdrew from people more and more until we lost touch with her altogether. And while I don’t recommend withdrawing from people entirely whenever you’ve fallen deep into the pit of depression… I now understand the feeling. I have now been there myself. In times of deep darkness, there’s a strong impulse to push people away. I have discovered, however, that the cause of that impulse is often pride.
In our culture, the shame and stigma of mental illness still exists. And I admit I felt a deep shame regarding my own emotional struggles.
Sometimes we get so hard on ourselves. We tell ourselves things like, “Why do I feel this way? What’s wrong with me? There must be something wrong with me. Nothing makes sense. I have nothing to feel depressed about. I have a happy home, a great marriage, a wonderful church family, and a steady income. Plus, I am a Christian. I know in my head, and even in my heart, that everything’s in God’s hands. I am loved by him. So why do I feel so down? Why do I feel so depressed? Why am I so anxious all the time? Why am I consumed with self-doubts and fears? Why do I feel worthless all the time? I shouldn’t feel this way. What’s wrong with me?”
These thought patterns motivate us to hide our feelings even more. And when we can’t make sense of why we feel the way we do, it makes it even more awkward and embarrassing to show our feelings to others. We don’t tell others of how we feel because we can’t make sense of it, even to ourselves.
I know of at least three pastors who have openly admitted their struggles with anxiety, and at least two privately mentioned they take medication on a regular basis.
When I finally got over my pride and started to openly talk about my struggles with anxiety, some of my friends were shocked and surprised. One of them privately told me she also suffers from anxiety and panic attacks. Since that time, I know of at least three pastors who have openly admitted their struggles with anxiety, and at least two privately mentioned they take medication on a regular basis.
The bottom line is, we don’t really know exactly why there’s been such a massive rise in mental illness these last few decades, although there have been multiple theories. The latest research suggests there might be a combination of factors, with some surprising results. One of the most surprising is the link to air pollution and mental illness. Who would have thought? Also, those who suffer from hay fever are several times more likely to suffer from panic attacks. No one yet knows the reason for this. As for myself, before my mental breakdown in 2019, I had always known I was highly sensitive to any medication with side effects that included “nervousness” or “depression”. Thus, it is not outside the realm of possibility that some chemical pollutant in the air could be contributing to my own bouts with anxiety.
A feeling is a feeling only. It will pass.
One thing I learned from my therapist – a feeling is a feeling only. It will pass. Be patient. The more impatient you are, the more you try to control what you feel, the more pressure you put on yourself to “improve” your mood, the more you will delay your progress. You are putting pressure on yourself to “heal thyself” instead of laying it before God.
No matter what you are feeling right now, God still loves you.
Do not let pride or shame prevent you from going to a Christian therapist or seeing a psychiatrist. Do not let pride or shame prevent you from taking medications, if that is what they recommend. Do not let pride or shame prevent you from talking to others about your struggles with mental illness. Yes, you should pray, read Scripture, attend church services, and fellowship with others. But don’t feel guilty if you’re feeling too overwhelmed to go. Don’t feel guilty for taking a “mental health day” of rest. Jesus knows your needs. Be assured, he does not condemn you. No matter how many church services you’ve had to skip, you are still loved. He holds you in the palm of his hand and cherishes you as his precious child. No matter what you are feeling right now, God still loves you. There is no pit of darkness so deep that he can’t reach down to sit with you. He will even hold you in his arms, if you let him. But he will never leave you. Ever.